Ahh, this is one of those times where I talk about motivation, but for once, I’m not drowning myself in self-hatred or loathing or anything negative. if you don’t know, I’m a person that really lacks motivation and I especially lack in taking action when I do have sparks of motivation. It’s one of those things were it’s there for 5 minutes and if I don’t take action right away it just disappears and I’m left just with you know, laying on the couch doing nothing except thinking about what I’m doing with my life and regretting shit (lol).
But anyway, as I’ve been setting big goals for myself the past few weeks, I’m feeling excited and happy for those plans, but of course, I understanding those feelings won’t be constant every day, minute, hour, and heartbeat of my life.. When does that ever happen anyway? Everything in life will have it’s up and downs and it depends on the situation and day... you never know what’ll come at you. But what is constant I’d say, is my current source of motivation and inspiration. I’m sure it’s obvious to the people around me how important music is to me and how much I consider GazettE and music in my life when I make decisions. I have no regrets with that at all. Music is just one of my main priorities, but not in a “i’m a musician to be” way, although I just bought a bass and who knows--okay off topic.
Honestly, I make A LOT of decisions based on GazettE and I’m highly aware of that and how bad it may look, however, currently where I am now, I’d definitely say it’s thanks to them and all my wonderful friends I’ve met throughout the last 7 years. And where I am right now feels pretty good, or at least okay. Nothing bad, but I’m making progress and keeping my parents proud. I’m finding my way through life and I’m growing up and quickly getting more responsibilities as an adult. I’m only 20 (21 in Oct) but that just means more serious things will be shooting my way soon. I’ve definitely made a bunch of mistakes and some embarrassing ones too, but it’s all part of a learning experience, no?
If you haven’t noticed, the GazettE is my main motivation. They are my inspiration. I’m sure many of you have an artist as a big inspiration, right? Let’s talk about motivation and inspiration from others besides family here. My mom is great and all, no not great, she’s AMAZING and I love her but besides her being that super mom, I’m all for GazettE being the extra push I need as well. I need both of them in my life.
My happy source is GazettE. A lot of my choices are because of GazettE. They’re literally reason I began working and I work my ass off while being a student just so I can support my hobbies and favorite band. I faced so many challenges during that too and it wasn’t a happy sight, but mom and the band kept me going.
Those five guys (lol) allowed me to find more amazing and interesting things about another culture that isn’t one I’m used to since I’m from North America. I’m currently surrounded by an Asian-American type culture, more specifically, Cambodian/American. I’m willing to learn a new language, heck, I’m willing to move to another country to learn more things! This band is helping me through life even if it is just by listening to their music and meeting other fans and having that wonderful connection. They make me so happy and they keep me going. This is one of the reasons why they mean so much to me. The other reasons... I don’t even know. It’s nothing I can put into words cause I just can’t explain. It’s just one of those things you KNOW deep inside. It’s there....but you can’t put words to it.
I know 100% that if I had never gotten into J-rock and GazettE, I’d be a totally different person right now. It’s crazy how much people you don’t even know personally can affect you.
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